Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Afraid of Love

I was interrupted last night by the arrival of G.L.P., after his four months' absence in Mississippi, improved in health, and in looks, and in spirits, and quite as glad to see me, I believe, as even you, in your goodness of heart, say my lover ought to be. But I will tell you the truth, my dear cousin, I am afraid of love. There is no other medium, save that of the happiness of loving and being loved, by which my affections could be effectually turned from divine to earthly things. Am I not then on dangerous ground? Yet God mercifully shows me that it is so, and when I think how He has saved me hitherto through sharp temptations, it seems wicked distrust of Him, not to feel that He will save me through those to come. ~ from a letter to her cousin, March 22, 1844

[It's actually good to know that she had such a love for her future husband. Surely this was a good thing, even though she worried it might turn her heart away from the heavenly. By God's grace, it's obvious that it didn't.  ~ mr

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